“Mothers are idealized as protectors: a person who is caring and giving and who builds a person up rather than knocking them down,” Filgate writes in her introduction to The essay collection explores all of the ways that mothers can and do fail to live up to this often unattainable societal expectation.It breaks the taboo around discussing the way that our families may not have conformed to the standard set forth and upheld by a long-shared tradition.Hanauer is frustrated with her father, but more than that, she’s frustrated with her mother for letting him get away with it.
“Mothers are idealized as protectors: a person who is caring and giving and who builds a person up rather than knocking them down,” Filgate writes in her introduction to The essay collection explores all of the ways that mothers can and do fail to live up to this often unattainable societal expectation.
“It allowed me to see that both she and I have always been more complicated than the binaries I’ve constructed for us to inhabit, in which we are either identical or opposite,” Jamison writes.
“We get so used to the stories we tell about ourselves.
A common theme in the accompanying comment was how she had emboldened others to talk about the complexities of their own maternal relationships.
Now, a new essay collection of the same name edited by Filgate has invited those ideas to be fleshed out, collectively taking aim at the cultural narrative that circumscribes the role of the maternal parent.
In this way, even in exploring what people don’t talk about with their mothers, the actual mother gets left behind.
Of course, while it is possible to draw patterns, ultimately shows us fifteen ways that fifteen people understand their mothers.Our relationships with our mothers are in many ways the closest ones we ever have, but they're rarely simple.The many knots in the mother-child bond are the subject of the new essay collection The anthology was edited by Michele Filgate, who also wrote the title essay.In October 2017, Michele Filgate published an essay on Longreads entitled “What My Mother And I Don’t Talk About.” Years in the writing, the piece discussed the abuse that Filgate suffered at the hands of her stepfather and how her mother’s silence protected him, ultimately leading to the breakdown of the relationship between the two women.The response to her work was the definition of viral, being shared on social platforms by the likes of Rebecca Solnit, Lidia Yuknavitch and many others.She makes everything ready for all family members in the morning before they wake up.My mothers takes a great care of my health and my food. My mother takes care for all of our needs and wishes.The book cracks open our expectations, asking us why we let ourselves be blinded by the myth of the mother so much that we can’t see our mothers as people—as complicated and varied as the rest of us.Despite all the millions of sweet pastel greeting cards that will be sold this week, Mother's Day can call up mixed feelings.That was Filgate’s goal in putting together the book.“My hope for this book is that it will serve as a beacon for anyone who has ever felt incapable of speaking their truth or their mother’s truth,” Filgate writes.